Tag Archives: parenting

January 25, 2008 · 8:42 am

It’ll get better..in about 15 years, maybe.

Right now she’s two, so it’s hard for me, dealing with the terrible-twos et all. Agreed it’s a nice stage too, when compared to mothers of teens (the eye rolling, the sulking and the talking back, to name a few) and I am sure I’ll look back at these years with rose tinted glasses.

But, right now, here’s where I am, and there are times when I wish she was grown up. The thing is that she’ll need me for a long long time, so those who say it gets better may not be so accurate. It gets different and the demands on the mother change, but they don’t go away. In fact some mothers tell me that these are the better years, that as time goes by they need more and more from you and it’s not like you can out up your feet and read in peace.

That does happen, but at sixty, and it’s a long time to sixty, a long long time and I am tired. If only men would pitch in more, it’d be sooooo much better. Wishful thinking I know, but one lives in hope..

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January 20, 2008 · 8:03 pm

It’s Late and I am tired

It always happens. I sleep late after a long day and she wakes up just as I am drifting into sweet sleep. When I have a good day and am not tired, she sleeps like a baby (who ever invented that line?).

So I get impatient and by the end if it I also get a headache.  Then I feel guilty for being impatient and get an even bigger headache. Guilt is the worst thing, it really is.

Motherhood is not easy and it’s the toughest at night, but your snoring husband will never understand that.

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January 14, 2008 · 4:27 pm

I just want one peaceful day, just one..

I am not asking for much, just one day when I can put my feet up and not have to tell my toddler it’s wrong to do this and it’s not good to do that and all the rest of it and not hear her scream in my ear.

She’s going through the screaming phase and they say it’ll pass. My question is when? No one can tell me that I know, so I am not really asking that question…I am just taking one day at a time and hoping she gets over it soon.

It’s not that she’s doing it all the time but it’s just that when she does, all I can think about is shutting her up somehow and that’s the one thing she will not do.

So for now, it’s Tylenol.

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January 10, 2008 · 6:23 am

Baby’s mistakes are really the mommie’s..or so people believe

You see a badly behaved child and you blame the parents – mostly the mom if she’s the one staying at home with the child. And though you may have a point there, it’s not really always the case.

It could be that the child’s just be having a bad day, he or she may not always behave that way. But no one looks at it like that, people usually go away with an “impression” and you’d hear things like “I saw her baby and God, she’s badly brought up, she was throwing a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket..blah blah..” The mommy, for all her hard work, unfortunately, is judged by one incident and the rest is forgotten. That’s the sad truth.

I could be spending hundreds of hours with my child, telling her all about good manners but the one day we go out and bump into someone we know, would be the one day my daughter decides to be defiant – she’s going through the “no” phase most two-year olds seem to love.

You can read all the books and sites you want about dealing with defiance, but they are of little use when you have a bawling two-year old stubbornly refusing “other pleasing alternatives”. You just have to ride it out and hope you don’t meet any more people you know.

Mommyhood is a tough job, it’s something like being an investment banker..you can make all the right decisions but you’ll be remembered by the wrong one you make.

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January 4, 2008 · 5:45 am

Mommies need breaks but no one realizes that..

It’s a 24-7 job and it’s been said a million times before, but it’s one of those things that people say and get past..”oh, it’s a full time job..blah blah..” but no one actually cares about the mommy, no one makes the effort to make it easy for the mommy, no one, least of all the husband!

In cases where the mommy is working, it’s actually easier, because then bringing up the baby is automatically divided, but in cases like mine, where I have made the choice (and not always am i happy about that, but that’s for another day) to be at home, there becomes a “this is your job” syndrome..and I hate it. I may not go to work but I need my break. Also, everything automatically becomes the mother’s fault..”she’s screaming because you didn’t control her in time”..right, that’s nice to hear. It makes a feel a whole lot better about giving up my work and being with the baby. Thanks a lot.

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December 14, 2007 · 1:29 pm

I must be crazy..

Let me say this first, that this will sound a little insane, given all the venting I’ve been doing about mommy rage and the rest of it (but I’ll defend that later). That said, let me say it: – I am considering a second baby. Yup, that’s right. I want another one, not so much for myself, but for my daughter.

But wait, I am not totally crazy – may be a little – but not all gone yet. The thing is that I believe, and I could be waaay wrong, that having a second one is going to actually make it better, if I can do the whole nappy-change-sleep-deprived-will-lose-it thing again. It’ll be tough for two years and given that at the end of those two years I am still not in an asylum, I think, seriously, that it’ll be good.

My two year old will, say I have one nine months from now, be about five when the younger one will be two, so from then on, they’ll be company for each other.

I’ve actually studied this, not to mention been told this like a zillion times by my mother, that mothers with two kids find that they demand much less of their time that those with one, who needs to be entertained constantly. Of course there are days when all you do is sort out their little fights..but all in all, it’s better to have two.

That’s the theory and I am not sure if it’ll translate into anything, but if it does, I am hoping that I am thinking it right. If not, I’ll be blogging from an asylum in about two years. Yup, I think I’ll still blog.

For now, it’s back to potty training. Sigh.

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December 14, 2007 · 4:28 am

a gloomy winter day..

It’s winter – I know I keep saying it – but it is dark and gray and smoggy all the time, so what should I do, ignore it? ok that’s an idea..ha, wonder why it didn’t occur to me before? It’s simple, right? just ignore it. Right.

So, when you are alone and dealing with all the issues on the home front by yourself, are you entitled to a little angst?? The answer, if you ask anyone, is, yes, maybe, but don’t tell me about it…gee thanks, that helped.

See mommyrage is something most people laugh at, or at the most, at least in India, they tell you that that’s the way it’s been and it’s sooooo much better now, blah blah and more blah! Ok, so it is better for me than it was for my mother, and that’s good, but it still is tough sometimes, and all I need is for someone to understand that, just that. Really.

That and some chipping in…too much to ask? Apparently.

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