You see a badly behaved child and you blame the parents – mostly the mom if she’s the one staying at home with the child. And though you may have a point there, it’s not really always the case.
It could be that the child’s just be having a bad day, he or she may not always behave that way. But no one looks at it like that, people usually go away with an “impression” and you’d hear things like “I saw her baby and God, she’s badly brought up, she was throwing a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket..blah blah..” The mommy, for all her hard work, unfortunately, is judged by one incident and the rest is forgotten. That’s the sad truth.
I could be spending hundreds of hours with my child, telling her all about good manners but the one day we go out and bump into someone we know, would be the one day my daughter decides to be defiant – she’s going through the “no” phase most two-year olds seem to love.
You can read all the books and sites you want about dealing with defiance, but they are of little use when you have a bawling two-year old stubbornly refusing “other pleasing alternatives”. You just have to ride it out and hope you don’t meet any more people you know.
Mommyhood is a tough job, it’s something like being an investment banker..you can make all the right decisions but you’ll be remembered by the wrong one you make.
2 responses to “Baby’s mistakes are really the mommie’s..or so people believe”
The problem is that strangers judge based upon the few seconds of your life they witness. What matters are the opinions of your friends and family you see you often and know that you are raising your child with love and limits, teaching them manners and meaning. You have to ignore the rest of the world.
I always pray for moms dealing with a screaming toddler in a public place. I do it because I have been there! My 15yo daughter was the tantrum queen, not because she was spoiled or didn’t have any discipline, but because she just couldn’t handle much stimulation and would always, always, always have those meltdowns in public. Until she was 4, and it all suddenly just went away.
I took a parenting class one time where the instructor passed out yellow ‘caution’ signs… but these said “Caution: Tantrum in Progress”! She said just slap one of those down on the floor next to your child and walk away. You won’t get the nasty looks from snooty folks who’ve never had kids… more likely you’ll get giggles. I never tried it but that’s only because I forgot to bring my sign home. 🙂