Motherhood is a thankless job, and I am doing it. Never thought I would give up work and do it full-time. When you are young, footloose and fancy-free, you have all these notions about life and work and all the rest of it and you make bold declarations about how you’ll never do this and never do that. Right. Eat your words now. That’s what I am doing, eating my big fat words and looking after my eleven-year-old and a pair of almost eight-year-old twins. I’ve recently got back to work after ten years – yes, at the bottom of the ladder..
It’s hard, no two ways about it. It’s the mother who, well mostly -we’re not talking exceptions here, takes the brunt of it. It does not have to be that way.
That said, now something about me: I am a mother, who, like a million others, is trying to strike that seemingly impossible, yet achievable for some, balance between work, life and child. Some say it’s easy if you’re organized. Right, it’s that simple.
I am trying to do the balance thing now, with the kids now at full-day school. Have started working full-time and try to write as well. I love the fact that I am doing something apart from the same old domestic stuff. But, it’s a constant effort..constant, constant, never ending effort. And it’s tiring.
I believe that mothers live with the ultimate quandary – career or child? Men believe it does not have to be either or. It does not have to be, but it is. That’s the truth. Even if you don’t quit work totally and just take the slow path, it still affects your career, let’s not kid ourselves. I am a living example of it. I have settled for a paltry amount to work for, just because I need some flexibility – even though end up working full-time.
And no matter what road you take – the career-is-most-important one or the will-do-what-it-takes for my child one, you’ll look back, years later and wonder, even regret, not taking the other road. Yes, it’s true, that’s not going to change.
What I say to mothers (and to myself) is that try not to think too much about how you’ll feel ten years from now, because not even you can know the answer to that question.