About

Motherhood is a thankless job, and I am doing it. Never thought I would give up work and do it full-time. When you are young, footloose and fancy-free, you have all these notions about life and work and all the rest of it and you make bold declarations about how you’ll never do this and never do that. Right. Eat your words now. That’s what I am doing, eating my big fat words and looking after my eleven-year-old and a pair of almost eight-year-old twins. I’ve recently got back to work after ten years – yes, at the bottom of the ladder..

It’s hard, no two ways about it. It’s the mother who, well mostly -we’re not talking exceptions here, takes the brunt of it. It does not have to be that way.

That said, now something about me: I am a mother, who, like a million others, is trying to strike that seemingly impossible, yet achievable for some, balance between work, life and child. Some say it’s easy if you’re organized. Right, it’s that simple.

I am trying to do the balance thing now, with the kids now at full-day school. Have started working full-time and try to write as well. I love the fact that I am doing something apart from the same old domestic stuff. But, it’s a constant effort..constant, constant, never ending effort. And it’s tiring.

I believe that mothers live with the ultimate quandary – career or child? Men believe it does not have to be either or. It does not have to be, but it is. That’s the truth. Even if you don’t quit work totally and just take the slow path, it still affects your career, let’s not kid ourselves. I am a living example of it. I have settled for a paltry amount to work for, just because I need some flexibility – even though  end up working full-time.

And no matter what road you take – the career-is-most-important one or the will-do-what-it-takes for my child one, you’ll look back, years later and wonder, even regret, not taking the other road. Yes, it’s true, that’s not going to change.

What I say to mothers (and to myself) is that try not to think too much about how you’ll feel ten years from now, because not even you can know the answer to that question.

5 responses to “About

  1. Sri

    Hi,

    I love the way u have expressed about motherhood..i got married this september and want to have a happy carefree life for sometime but my hubby, mom and MIL want a kid soon..

    I am still not too sure and reading your blog has made me realise that balancing a career and a baby is not the easiest thing!!

    Sri

  2. anamika

    Hi,

    Hope you are doing well! This is Anamika Tiwari Chief Editor at Webneetech.com. At present we are interviewing entrepreneurs and now we are starting another section to feature (interview) bloggers and their blog on webneetech.com

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  3. Anuroopa

    Thanks for keeping this blog and being so frank about the 2 sides of the coin. As another mom, who has made the choice to watch children for next few years over career – I feel much better reading and knowing that a lot of us feel the same thing.

    Hope you stumbled upon this (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/) and (http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/03/12/the-two-things-sheryl-sandberg-says-she-would-do-to-make-things-better-for-women/).

    Anyways, keep bringing on more posts to the blogosphere.

  4. I agree totally….my daughter refuses to talk to me …she says that my presence irritates her !She skipped school today as there was a test & now she expects me to get a dress for her as she has forgotten to carry it for a friend who wants to borrow it for a party.

    If I do what she wants,I am elastic…if i do not ,I am tough…..I have no answers…whatever I do ,I will question myself.And there will be no reply that will satisfy me.

    • crabbymommy

      Hi Vasudha,

      What I want to say is “I hear you soul sister!” Really, it’s cheesy (who cares?) but it’s true. Soooo many mothers feel this way. I cannot agree with you more on what you say about being elastic – I tell my daughter the same thing – if I do what she wants, I am the greatest, if not, I am being unfair. Remind me someone, did we talk back to our parents at 8??

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