Tag Archives: getting pregnant

The ‘O’ factor.

Ovulation. It rules my life these days. It should not I guess, but that’s easier said.

The days come and go, sometimes we give it a shot, sometimes we don’t, and time goes by, a month, a year. Like someone said, what is one year but 12 missed chances? Sigh.

But it’s not that simple, for me that is. I tend to complicate things, not because I want to, or am proud of it, but because, well, because if I have one primary thing in mind, then it sort of consumes me and I can think of nothing else. So, thinking about the second one, I’ve put a lot on hold – the big and the small. It sounds silly, and maybe it is, but that’s the way it is right now. I’ve let every little aspect of my life get affected. Toning up and losing weight, for instance, I want to join this great place near my house which has a good trainer for not that much money, but, I am not doing it because I am waiting to get pregnant! It can be argued that I can work out at home, but, that requires greater will.. Not logical I know..

Then, getting back to work is the other thing that keeps bothering me. Again, I could get a job and quit if I get pregnant, but somehow I am not looking too hard for the right job (like that exists!) because I do want something that will not take over my life, since my two and a half year old is still very demanding and I need to be there for her during the day too…

So how would having a second be better, asks my cousin. It will be difficult I know, but if I can help it, I don’t want my daughter to be the only child, I want her to have a sibling, so this is more for her. And I don’t have time – blessed, for lack of a better word, biological clock and all the rest of it. SO far, Gynie says all is well, keep trying.

For now I am focusing on the bright side of not being pregnant: i.e. wine. It’s the one thing I’ll miss, if..

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Need to see the gynie..

I’ve decided to make a trip to my gynie, much as I’ve been avoiding it, I think I should do it, because I want another child soon and need to find out if all is well. She’s going to scold me, I know, because she had told me after my daughter was born that I should not wait too long and that I should not come asking her what was wrong if I left it too late!

Agh. Anyway, I’ll tell her about all the mommyrage stuff.

Only recently have I regained some sanity, so here I am all ready to lose it again and I am excited about it, don’t ask me why I just am. Maybe because I have not much else to look forward to, so that’s why..that sounds sadder that it is!!

I know life is not that simple, but I want to know, one way or another, what I am going to be doing this year – sitting at home getting bigger, or making my way back to work – and stupidly I am looking at the answer she gives me to help me make a decision.

Silly eh?

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