Tag Archives: play schools

Now She Ok, Now She’s Not..

Before I say anything else, I must admit that I am not a strong person, not strong when it comes to people I love. I have a lot of angst about, well, about many things in life, but also about mommy issues, as is apparant in this blog, but, the big but, let’s just say, I ain’t got nerves of steel, to put it mildly.

So, last week when my daughter sat inside her classroom with total strangers, I was happy. She has a lot of stranger anxiety and one of the reasons I wanted to put her into playschool was to try and cure her of some of it, so that she does not recoil each time someone waves a hello. She never liked school (its only been a week and a half) but, once there, she would go in and after a while I’d leave the room and she’d be fine.

Day before yeaterday she just didn’t want me to leave, but the teacher made me, so I had to. I felt terrible as they took her screaming from my arms. I skulked around corners for a while till I was scolded and then I left the hall and sat outside with the rest of the mothers and soon I was swapping salad recipes, though my mind was inside the classroom.

I told myself that she’d be ok, that this is something she had to learn to do and I had to be strong. But I could not get that image of her out of my mind, her sweet face and large teary eyes looking at me. I gulped a few times to stifle the lump that was, once again, beginning to form in my throat. Then I started wondering if I was doing the right thing, because though in my mind I was doing this for her betterment, just like everyone around me, I was very upset about the fact that she cried the way she did.

The thing about her is that, though it may appear to be the opposite, she actually loves kids her age and once she is familiar with a place, she tends to love it. So I had hoped that she’d start liking the place soon. And while I know that such moods are cyclical, I am dreading going to school tomorrow and leaving her in the classroom. The last time she told the teacher to bring all the mommies inside, she had pleaded for me and when I was finally called in, I found her eyes red with crying. She ran to me and clung and cried, then laughed, then asked me not to leave. I could not say anything but I held her hard and after a while told her that I was right outside and had not gone home.

I know all kids go through this and they settle down after a while, but, like I said, I am not strong enough. I hate it when I have to leave and she is crying, I hate it but I still do it because I think it’s good for her, because the whole world does it, my parents did it too, and all the rest of it, I know all that, but it’s still not good enough for me because I simply hate seeing her sitting at a table crying for her mommy.

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I wish I had the guts to swim against the current..

In the good old days, children went to school at, what? say 4 or 5? maybe a tad earlier. But not at 2, that’s for sure. So when I told my father that I was putting my two year old into play school (she’ll be almost 2.5 when she goes) he thought I’d lost it, which it does not take much for him to think, he’s old school and I am, well, mostly, not.

He’s nuts about my daughter so he was upset. And I’ve been sitting on the fence about it anyway, so I kept (read keep) swinging between whether to send her or not. Looking around me didn’t help, since everyone sends their kids at some bizarre age or the other. And that’s not what I want to do anyway, to send her just because the whole world is doing it. But, I have enrolled her for July for the Toddler session, she goes everyday for three hours.

First, I was so worried about her whole interaction that I was ignoring, rather stifling, this little voice in my head that kept asking me if that’s what I really wanted. She has to go to school for a long time to come, did I really want to start it now? Did I not want her to be at home with me, playing the morning games we do, watering the lawn, playing with water, reading, and all the rest of it. Did I want to force her into a routine just because it was the right thing to do? She’s two for Christ’s sake.

But, till her interaction was over I managed to silence that voice. But now it’s back and I want to face these questions.

I know the answers and it makes me sad. The truth is that, if I was ensured admission into a decent (and that’s a whole different story, but for another day) school, I’d probably not send her now. I do think she’s too young and needs me more that she needs a routine. But, I don’t have the balls. I know that by the time she is three and over, I’ll have driven myself insane thinking about her admissions. At least this way I know that she will continue in this school, which, hopefully, will be right for her.

Its going to be five days a week, and this is the other thing that bothers me. Why make a toddler go five days? Three seems right to me. That way, they’d go and play three times a week, and yet, not lose out on time at home.

My husband thinks it’s too early but he’s left the decision to me, and from time to time, he, like me, laments the fact that we don’t have the guts to let her be for now and cross the admission bridge when we come to it.

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The right playschool..

It’s only playschool, for God’s sake, and I am deliberating over it like some would over grad school (so God help me when that happens, but, I may well be insane by then, so it won’t matter!) Anyway, back to the point and to the present, I have been scouting play schools for my two year old and I have not found one that I would jump at. It’s possible, I admit, that I may be looking for too much..

What I wanted was a place that was not like a “school” per say, with classrooms and the rest of it, but a warm environment that the kid would take to. They all have the regular wooden toys, bright walls, brain stimulating games and all that great stuff,¬† but I feel that they – and by they I mean the better ones where the staff can speak well, at least – all sort of merge into one another, doing everything by the book but lacking in imagination. It’s all good and fun etc etc, but it’s almost like they all went to the same how-to-run-a- playgroup school. And, let me add, that there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, different does not necessarily mean better.

But still, I would have liked to go a place that seemed not to care that much about how they would appear  and cared more about each child and how to interact with them. Putting a child in a room full of posters, paint and toys is fun, but not so much if they do it five days a week!

Also, most people today think nothing of making a one time payment of some 25,000 rupees ($600 odd) (and there are those that are well higher than this) – not counting transport, food, etc etc..and then quarterly payments as well, and all this for a two year old??

Am I insane to think this is a bit much, or has the world finally lost it?

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