Last week my sister’s-in-law were here with their kids and my daughter had a blast with them, she didn’t want to eat or sleep, all she wanted to do was to play with her cousins. When they left, she cried her heart out, as I had expected and feared.
Though she’ll settle into her routine soon, I am sure, she’s still feeling lost, and it makes me wonder, again, if I should have another child. I do want one but, for various reasons, it’s not happened yet, partly because I am not completely sure. And while I know that I should not let this one incident influence a big decision like having a child, I also know that my daughter needs a sibling. It’s never easy to decide what is right or wrong, since every situation is different and there are no rights or wrongs in things like this.
Still I am wondering, seeing her reaction, if I should just do this and forget about what it would lead to, because if I think about it too much I am not going to do it. And this has happened in the past, I’ve deliberated too much and made half hearted attempts..
But, as I write this, I think I am making up my mind. I have siblings and I cannot imagine how my life would have been without them, so I don’t want to deprive my daughter of that.
But being 36 and trying to have a baby is not going to be easy, and I’ve had some trouble already, so let’s see where this would lead..