I complained that I had no shoes, till I saw someone who had no feet..

The heading says it all. I met a friend yesterday who was in town for a few days and we caught up after a long time. She lives in a joint set-up, in-laws et all. That’s never easy and in her case her mom-in-law is kind of from the stone age, you know the sort: does not want her to work but wanted a well educated daughter in law..

She vented all day and I didn’t know what to say to her. I mean I knew what to say but knowing someone’s reality, you can’t just dole out irrelevant advise! Her husband is living in another town for work and will do so for another six months, at least, so she’s at home with her four year old, her in laws, including the sister in law – recipe for disaster if you ask me. And they all want to tell you what to do and how to do it.

I would’ve cracked, so it’s amazing that she’s still sane. The interference is so much that even when she feeds her daughter dinner, her mom in law will tell her what to feed and what not to. She does not have a moment to herself since she works too (a very sore point with her mom in law), though she’s back home by the afternoon as she’s a teacher.

She’s stuck in a situation and her husband does not see anything wrong with it, tells her not to crib and be happy, while he prefers to stay out and not be involved. Convenient, really.

I felt bad for her and in a strange way, it made me appreciate my own situation, which is no where close to hers..

Am not feeling crabby today at all!!

7 Comments

Filed under mommyrage

7 responses to “I complained that I had no shoes, till I saw someone who had no feet..

  1. Sometimes all a woman needs is a friend with an attentive ear. I’m sure you provided that for her and she’s grateful. We all need to vent ocassionally!
    That being said, what a difficult situation! Nothing is more unwanted by a mom than unsolicited advice, and living with people who feel obligated to dole it out every day would drive me INSANE too.

  2. Hey I like your blog.

    I know someone like you mentioned as well. I would not have been able to live the life she lives. I know that life would be easier if my mom-in-law or mom came and lived with me but I think the benefits would be outweighed by the fact that I would have to check myself into a mental institution!

  3. I also know someone who dealt with the in-laws living with them for an extended period of time. Although she loved them, it was just a little much hearing how she could do this and could do that.

    I love my mother-in-law, but I think I would struggle after living with her for too long. I think that is just proves that we are strong independent women and we choose to run our house as we see fit. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I would rather be strong and independent that a rug on which everyone feels they can wipe their feet!

  4. That must be a hideous situation. I love my mother-in-law but she is a rare breed and rarely interferes. I can but imagine…

    I would be maddest at the husband though – after all, a bit of emotional support isn’t too much to ask from a partner. He needs to shape up and start listening.

  5. Work Mom

    Oh, wow. Now I feel really bad. About me. I live with a whole bunch of in-laws (mother-in-law, sister-in-law, father-in-law, aunt-in-law and gandmother-in-law!!!) Recipe for disaster? What was I thinking when I came into this situation with my eyes open? I couldn’t take it for a while and lived in another city for two years on my own. But had to give in when my husband refused to move with me, and I wanted to have a kid. Now I do have a kid, but am living with the multiple in laws. It’s no picnic. And people around me tell me I shouldn’t complain this much. Thank God there are people who think it is an impossible situation. What do I do now? Hell, I don’t know. May be try harder to have a different life… Wish me luck!

    • crabbymommy

      I have to say, you must be a patient person. It’s not easy, what you’re doing. Really. Kudos to you. I don’t just say this, I mean it. I would’ve gone nuts. I am not easy to live with and get crabby when my space gets encroached upon! Guess my blog say a lot about me!

      Maybe you and your husband should go out a lot. I mean, if there are so many people at home, then the one HUGE advantage of that is that you can leave your child at home and enjoy an evening out – just the two of you – it’s really important. Be a couple sometimes, not only parents..

      • Work Mom

        Thanks, crabbymommy. That’s nice of you to say. It’s true, we should take advantage of the situation. Don’t know how patient I am though, sometimes, I feel like screaming.
        By the way, I love your blog. I’m reading all your posts now. It’s addictive. Do keep writing.

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