Monthly Archives: January 2008

It’s Late and I am tired

It always happens. I sleep late after a long day and she wakes up just as I am drifting into sweet sleep. When I have a good day and am not tired, she sleeps like a baby (who ever invented that line?).

So I get impatient and by the end if it I also get a headache.  Then I feel guilty for being impatient and get an even bigger headache. Guilt is the worst thing, it really is.

Motherhood is not easy and it’s the toughest at night, but your snoring husband will never understand that.

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I just want one peaceful day, just one..

I am not asking for much, just one day when I can put my feet up and not have to tell my toddler it’s wrong to do this and it’s not good to do that and all the rest of it and not hear her scream in my ear.

She’s going through the screaming phase and they say it’ll pass. My question is when? No one can tell me that I know, so I am not really asking that question…I am just taking one day at a time and hoping she gets over it soon.

It’s not that she’s doing it all the time but it’s just that when she does, all I can think about is shutting her up somehow and that’s the one thing she will not do.

So for now, it’s Tylenol.

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Baby’s mistakes are really the mommie’s..or so people believe

You see a badly behaved child and you blame the parents – mostly the mom if she’s the one staying at home with the child. And though you may have a point there, it’s not really always the case.

It could be that the child’s just be having a bad day, he or she may not always behave that way. But no one looks at it like that, people usually go away with an “impression” and you’d hear things like “I saw her baby and God, she’s badly brought up, she was throwing a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket..blah blah..” The mommy, for all her hard work, unfortunately, is judged by one incident and the rest is forgotten. That’s the sad truth.

I could be spending hundreds of hours with my child, telling her all about good manners but the one day we go out and bump into someone we know, would be the one day my daughter decides to be defiant – she’s going through the “no” phase most two-year olds seem to love.

You can read all the books and sites you want about dealing with defiance, but they are of little use when you have a bawling two-year old stubbornly refusing “other pleasing alternatives”. You just have to ride it out and hope you don’t meet any more people you know.

Mommyhood is a tough job, it’s something like being an investment banker..you can make all the right decisions but you’ll be remembered by the wrong one you make.

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Terrible twos – can’t be too prepared for them..

We’ve all, in our carefree youth, looked at bawling-give-t-to-me-or-I’ll-scream children and wondered why parents couldn’t control them. The kid screams, the mommy shusshes, the kid screams some more and the mommy loses patience and eventually, after a minor spectacle, the family leaves and people go back to eating in peace. We’ve all seen that.

Then one day we turn into that very mother who looks apologetically at everyone in the restaurant and prays that her child calms down. It’s difficult, at first, to find yoursef in that reversed place..

The truth is that when your terrible two year old wants to do something badly, there’s little you can do to prevent her or him. Yes you can do all the stuff baby sites write about – give alternatives, explain, cajole blah and blah and more blah..but there’s theory and then there’s reality! When my two year old wanted to tear down the aisle on a plane trip recently, there was damn all I could do to stop her..she was tired of being in one place and wanted to run up and down. Stopping her led to piercing screams..so it was either that or the running. I relented and chose the latter.

There’s no right or wrong, mostly, when you deal with your two year old..every situation is different, even if it looks same on paper. At first I wondered if I’d brought her up wrong, done something fundamentally different which is why she was behaving this way. You go through that, the guilt. But it passes and you realize that it’s a phase.

At least I hope it is.

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Mommies need breaks but no one realizes that..

It’s a 24-7 job and it’s been said a million times before, but it’s one of those things that people say and get past..”oh, it’s a full time job..blah blah..” but no one actually cares about the mommy, no one makes the effort to make it easy for the mommy, no one, least of all the husband!

In cases where the mommy is working, it’s actually easier, because then bringing up the baby is automatically divided, but in cases like mine, where I have made the choice (and not always am i happy about that, but that’s for another day) to be at home, there becomes a “this is your job” syndrome..and I hate it. I may not go to work but I need my break. Also, everything automatically becomes the mother’s fault..”she’s screaming because you didn’t control her in time”..right, that’s nice to hear. It makes a feel a whole lot better about giving up my work and being with the baby. Thanks a lot.

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