He tells me not to force the child, let her be. Easier said..

If I had to spend two hours a day with my child, I’d have the patience of a saint. But, I don’t, so I am a bit low on the be-patient stuff.

What gets my goat, however, is my husband coming in at night and telling me not to force our daughter into doing anything. So, if she’s sick, as she is right now with a chest flu, and the doctor has told me (he never has the time to go to the doc with her – but that’s for another day) that she absolutely must drink water and urinate as usual otherwise it’ll be the drip for her, then I need to force her, because she was not urinating at all.

So she cries when I force her, all toddlers cry when they are made to do what they don’t want, especially a toddler who has the flu. What does my husband tell me? He tells me that I don’t let her be, that I get after her life, and should not force her! Now what do I say to that? There’s a lot I could say but the baby is ill and with a third day in a row when I’ve not been able to even go to the bathroom without her wailing for me, I am tired and don’t have the energy to deal with him.

Ok, so he’s had a long day at work, I understand but I haven’t exactly been living it up either. His point is, “when I am home, I want peace.”

My respose to that is, I want peace too, but what about the baby who’s not well? Should I just let her be and pray that she becomes ok?

See, he doesn’t face the pediatrician and his berating, I do. So, it’s easy for him to take the high road, then turn over and sleep.

All I need is some support. Apparently that too much to ask for.



Filed under mommyrage

2 responses to “He tells me not to force the child, let her be. Easier said..

  1. R.

    Right there with you, sister. Hang in there (I apologize if that is a too easy thing to say when I am not the one there in the trenches with you and your sick kiddo). All I mean is that, you went to the doc., you know what needs to be done, you have to follow through and ignore the man who comes in late in the game and expects to be able to change the rules. Now, obviously, if you weren’t tired and exhausted and fed-up like we all get when our children have been sick and whining and clingy for three days straight, you would be doing everything to try to get her to drink without making her cry (ie playing a game, bribing with treats, making it fun) but we all know that those tactics don’t always come to even the best of moms when you are at your wits end. Breathe and know that, I for one, believe that you are doing the best for your child and your husband should understand that he’ll get peace when your child is well. And, if he tag-teamed with you, she would probably get better sooner. My husband too sees only in the short-term, fix-it-quick, sorts of ways instead of the “if we do this it will suck but it’s better for all of us in the long run”. I know, it’s tough.

  2. dummling

    It always amazes me how many women go through the same thing, and women who may have nothing else in common, not even country and culture, yet the issues are the same.

    Thanks for writing in. It does make me feel better and now my daughter is better too, so I guess I am feeling more positive.

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