Is it me, or has it become impossible to drive without cursing?

Now I know that the title of my blog does not inspire much confidence in my anger-curbing abilities, but I have to say that driving Delhi can test the patience of a saint. And, since I am no saint (no kidding?) I can safely say that when the kids are not with me in the car I use quite the choicest language to vent my extreme irritation at macho-men (they wish) who think that cutting off a woman on the road is a show of their (diminished) masculinity! 

Is there anything more irritating than some ass overtaking you from the left and then cutting you off! I swear it makes me maaad! My instinct is to overtake him, screech to a halt (filmy style) in front of his tacky white car with dark-filmed windows, pull him out by the neck and wring it! Delhi, sadly, is full of such men and it’s made driving hell.

So the other day, when his cool-ass was zipping around lanes like he was in a video game, I spotted him in my rear-view mirror and decided that I would not let him cut me off. He was right behind me, honking, flashing his lights et all. I stayed in my lane since I was in the speed limit of my lane and saw no reason to make way for him (and there were cars in the next lane anyway). He grew restless, tried to overtake from the left, could not, then decided to stay in between the two lanes to look for a squeeze. I was not about to give him an inch (still honking). Then he got his chance and overshot from the left. Except a little ahead was a camel cart (kind of normal on Indian roads). The camel was puffing along testing his ability to beat Delhi’s heat, nose up in the air, quite oblivious to the restive man behind him. So now our man was stuck with the happy camel in front of him and yours truly on his right – both, for quite different reasons, completely locking him in and frustrating him further.

I pressed on the gas, drove up to the bumper of the car ahead in a deliberate bid to not allow the dude to push me aside. If the camel gave way I was fine with that, so really, it was between the two of them as far as I was concerned. Of course, our man didn’t see it that way. Frustrated as he was with the animal, the caretaker of whom was blissfully asleep on the cart, he had a bigger problem with me. His male ego had been bruised. I upped my music to alleviate some of his asinine honking (yep, still honking) and merrily drove along, all the while saying in my head “not a chance bro!”

As we came to a traffic light, he finally got his chance. He pulled up on my left and rolled down his window and I wondered, for a moment, if he had a gun (it happens). He didn’t, but he had a lot to say and even got off his car. But, just then a cop showed up and asked me if anything was the matter. I shook my head and by the time I looked left, our brave-heart had fled!! So much for his bravado!

It made me laugh and I giggled like a schoolgirl all the way home listening to Van Morrison on high volume. My road rage vanished and I felt vindicated!! Silly I know and I also know it could’ve turned ugly and I should’ve just let him go, but there is something so angering about people who drive like that, that I just could not bring myself to pull away from my lane to let him pass!!

Anyway, it put me in a good mood while driving for once and that’s something, because driving in Delhi ain’t for the faint-hearted!


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