My older daughter is a little over four and a half. She is, by and large, a well behaved kid. Or, so she was. Now she’s moody as hell. To the point that I have names for her depending on her moods. We (she, my husband and I) laugh about this often – she, mostly, likes the fact that I have names for her sulky days, or whiny ones, also the happy ones.
She may wake up happy, but within minutes of opening her eyes, she’s turned into a sulk pot. For no reason. I make it a point to be in the room till she’s up and don’t, as far as I can help it, hold the babies when she’s waking up, so she does not feel that her mommy has not been in the room while she’s been asleep (she does not like that and has told me this on several occasions). But try as I might, she’s moody, and whiny. I can see that she wants to play and be happy but something holds her back. One day, when she was in a happy mood (which is not rare either) I asked her why she acts this way. She said that I didn’t play with her anymore and that I was always scolding her. This, obviously, was not the case, though I could see that she meant what she said. So, the point was, she felt this way.
Ok, so she was partly right, but only partly. I do have less patience than I used to and have less time to play/read to her. But I am doing the best I can. I spend as much time with her as I can, I don’t go out much and when I do I, mostly, take her with me, even if I don’t take the twins. but I guess for her four year old mind that’s not good enough. It’s all relative – she’s comparing to the time when the twins were not there and compared to that, of course, it’s different.
My mom tells me that my sister, the eldest, used to be the same and when my brother was born (they are a year and a half apart) she went through the same thing with her. And now, my sister is the most loving sibling one could have. So I am thinking this will not have long term repercussions and that she’ll learn to accept (which, I can see she has to a large part) the fact that she has to share her mother.
The moods are there and I think they are here to stay for a while. I just have to be patient, because my losing it makes it worse. It’s hard, though, when you’ve woken up eight times at night (between the twins sometimes that’s the case) and then in the morning have to deal patiently with a four year old who is watching your every step and judging you for being “better” to the siblings!
It’ll pass I know. They are a happy bunch together, so when I see them all play and hear the ecstatic screams of the twins as the rush to hug their older sister when she returns from school, and she, in turn, dropping her bag to embrace them, I feel it’s all worth it. I am happy that (hopefully) they’ll always have each other.
mommyrage.com 
My son’s preschool teacher once told me, when he was 3 and a half and going through the worst phase ever, that the “terrible twos” was a misnomer. Its the terrible twos, the terrifying threes, the fearsome fours, and what have you 🙂 She likened it to the teenage years, all angst and anger 🙂 What she said helped – that developmentally they are at a challenging age until 5 or 6, and then they settle down (well atleast that’s what one hopes!)…having a sibling or two is probably a significant contributor.
Anyway, looks like u have it all sorted out in your head. Good luck!!!! 🙂
This helps! Thanks. I abs agree with the teen analogy, it’s what my husband was saying the other day – that this is typical teen behaviour. He was even laughing and saying that maybe we’ll be spared this when she actually is a teenager since she’s going through it right now! Hope in hell? Well, maybe, but it’s worth hoping for!!
Thanks again..
Although I have only the one toddler to contend with, even she has her moods.. So, I can totally understand your 4-year old’s.
New reader here and look forward to staying connected.